"Chivalry in Grief" Guest post by Mitch Carmody

 

Note from Jessica:  My parents have been involved in Compassionate Friends/Bereaved Parents since my sister died in 1999.  I asked my mom, Jo, for ideas for guest writers and she suggested Mitch.  He has experienced the loss of his father at a young age,  a son & two siblings.  His wise words around his grief experience are much appreciated. 

As a national writer and speaker on grief I am for the most part  recognized for my journey following the  death of my 9-year-old son Kelly who died of a cancer in 1987. That event changed my life forever, but many do not know of the other familial losses that I have incurred. Our life is a puzzle in progress. It is our losses and gains that we piece together through our lifetime  that ultimately forms our destiny. We have cognitive choices that influence that destiny, but as children for the most part those choices are made for us. We grieve by proxy through our parents and subjugated by societal influence to marginalize our own pain. You are young, you are resilient, kids bounce right back.