"It doesn't get easier, you just learn to carry it"

I love podcasts & audiobooks! They allow me to listen & learn while I clean, bike, or usually-crochet. One of my favorite podcasts is "Everything Happens" by Kate Bowler. On a recent episode, she interviewed Jerry Sittser, who lost his mother, wife, & youngest daughter in a car accident 30 years ago.  He speaks candidly of his grief journey and how as humans we often try-and fail-at making meaning from terrible things that happen to us.  Jerry said that people are looking for answers and that he didn't really come to one until he realized there are no answers.  "I've learned it doesn't get easier, I just learned how to carry it." 

Halloween Memories: Guest post by Sara Tourte

 

“It’s about to be Halloween/you could be anything you wanted/if you were still here” – Ronan by Taylor Swift.

It’s almost been ten years since I last heard my brother’s voice.  January 22, 2022 will mark ten years since Joe’s passing. This time of year brings floods of memories with Joe. Memories of him dressed up as his favorite superhero at Halloween, memories of him and I trick or treating in our neighborhood, and memories of him planning for the next Holiday. Joe would always say “and then” until we got to the next Holiday being Christmas or his birthday - Joe LOVED presents!  While his constant “and then” interrogation would drive us crazy, there’s nothing my family and I wouldn’t give anything to hear him say those words again.   

Guest Post: Jason Dagel on the grief of losing a sister-in-law

 

Joslin with Jason & Jess at their wedding

Joslin's senior picture(as she wanted to be remembered)

Preface from Jess: Twenty-two years ago, Jason and I married quickly(in 6 days) so that Joslin could be part of our wedding, which I have never regretted. I have included a picture of us from our wedding, but you all should know that she hated how she looked in this stage of her life. Steroids had puffed her up and she hated her hair. I am including one of her senior pictures as well so you can see how she looked before in the hopes that she doesn't haunt my dreams over posting the wedding picture.

When Jess first floated the idea of me writing about my perspective on grief as a brother-in-law to her sister who died of cancer far too young, I needed time to think about it.  For those of you who know me, this is probably shocking, as I am not one to need a lot of time before sharing my thoughts.  But my first thought was that I didn’t think I would have that much to offer, my second thought was that this post might unintentionally cause pain or hurt feelings (and I’ve said many prayers since that it won’t), and my third thought was that maybe, just maybe, me putting words down might help someone (a major part of Jess’s motivation in doing this blog), so it’s worth a shot.